Bye-Bye Lonelies, Sometimes....

This blog post is in conjunction with a previous post that VB wrote.

Sometimes I get a massive case of the lonelies.  In truth, I am hardly ever alone.  Between my two year old son, who I stay at home with, my husband and the revolving door that was our house, I don't get much alone time.  So my loneliness is a different kind of loneliness.  My loneliness comes from a lack of friends that I can call up and say, "Hey, if I can find a babysitter to watch my son, do you want to meet up for coffee or go see a movie or both?"  My loneliness comes from the isolation of where I live.  The nearest place that has anything resembling culture is Great Falls, and most days it's just not worth the drive or the gas it takes to get there.

I do have one thing going for me though.  I have, after 3 years of living here, found a friend my own age that has kids around my sons age.  We have library time every Wednesday and then a play date afterwards until lunch time.  Sometimes, we even get together on other days and let the kids play and we just talk about our kids and other things going on in our lives.  For privacy reasons I will not tell you their names, but I can say this about our new friends, they have saved my life here.  I had given up on making friends that I can talk to about anything here and not be judged because I am the pastor's wife.  And then all of a sudden enter these wonderful people and everything has changed.  The power of consistent and badgering prayer folks.

I still find that most days, unless there is something really pressing that I just have to do, I don't leave the house.  Having our garden this year has alleviated some of my hermitage behavior, in that I have to go outside every day and inspect, water, prune and pick vegetables that are ready to be picked.

I can call or skype with my best friends that don't live here, but sometimes all I want to do is see them and give them big hugs and listen to them talk about their lives and share what is going on with mine.  Sometimes, I find myself day-dreaming about taking my son to the Como Zoo in St. Paul and meeting up with friends and just making a day of it.  Or I get flashes of walking around Lake Calhoun with friends and talking and exercising at the same time on a lovely late-spring, summer or early-fall day.  Basically, I find myself missing some of what my life used to be and I get the lonelies.

But nothing stays the same.  Even if Jason and I end up moving back to Minnesota someday, everything will be different.  I will have kids, when before I didn't.  I may or may not be working, or I may work out of my home.  I may have a more traditional job, or I may find something unconventional to do with myself.  Jason will continue to be a pastor.  And not all of my best friends live in Minnesota anymore.  VB lives in St. Johns Newfoundland, others live out East and others live out in the Northwest.  Again, thinking about all of this makes me feel lonely.

Thankfully, facebook exists, texting exists, skype exists, email exists and with money, planes, trains and automobiles exists to whisk me away to see my people.

I will look back on my time here, however long it may be, and tell stories about how I made a good friend in my small town and survived the lonelies.  Until then, I'm just going to keep on keeping on and try to stay positive about what the future may hold.

Too much Craziness on the Home Front....

Ok, the shortest version of what's been going on around here I can possibly tell you.

My mother-in-law, Sharon, found out she had a cancerous lump in her breast and had it removed.  It did not affect the lymph nodes, but the gene for the cancer is still present in her blood, which makes it very possible for her to get the cancer again.  She will be starting treatments on March 4th; 18 weeks of chemo and 4-6 weeks of radiation after that.  Her treatments will happen in Great Falls.

My father-in-law, Dick, had knee replacement surgery and had complications due to not enough blood in his system after the surgery (note to self, don't go to Great Falls Clinic for surgery) and ended up having vision issues after his release from the hospital.  He was readmitted to the hospital closer to home in Havre where they found out he had had a small stroke at some point in the past and thought his corodit arteries were 60-90% blocked.  He had tests done and it turns out that after 2 units of blood at the hospital his vision returned to normal and after more tests found out one artery was completely clean and the other 40% blocked.  They won't do surgery until the artery is 70% block or more.  Now he is working on recovering from his knee surgery.

About a week after most of the craziness with my in-laws calmed down for the time being, Preston got croup and I was unfortunate enough to get sick from him.  We are both mostly recovered now, thank the Lord.

All of this has taken place in the last 3 weeks, so I haven't had much time to focus on much else.  I'm anxious for my mother-in-law and pray that the chemo and radiation treatments don't have the worst effects on her.  I am anxious about how this is going to affect Jason and little family unit.  I constantly am praying that we all make it through this phase in my mother-in-law getting better as sane as possible, but especially for Sharon because she has to go through the hardest part, the treatment.

I am extremely thankful that Jason, Preston and I will be able to escape from the craziness for a few days.  We will be traveling to Minnesota for one of my soul sister's wedding on Feb. 26- March 2.  I wish we could stay longer, but the following Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and Jason is pretty much required to be around for that.  Some much needed relaxation about too much craziness on the home front.