A Move and Cabin Fever

I've, luckily for my sanity's sake, had the fortune to move into the largest urban area on this island. Population 106,172. I am still coping with staying at home and not having work outside the home or regular income. And this city has been dumped on with so much snow this winter they are taking it out in dump trucks daily just to sort of have some poor control over the roadways. To top this off we have had rolling power outages on the coldest days of winter so far. Awesome! I thought I was living in a first world nation...

Needless to say, I have wanted to punch holes in the wall, have put on some undesired weight and am generally irritable and stir crazy. I am trying to cope by building routine into my life. I have always been resistant to routine; a free spirit, routine is for normal people. But am finding that designing some routine is helping not feel like the whole day has been wasted on facebook.

My new routine is still under development. I have been at it a little over a week now and I like this aspect of it. I drive my husband to work every morning. Not being a morning person, waking is always painful. I start the day in a deliriously, miserable state. My eyes hurt, my body hurts, my brain often hurts. I resent being a chauffeur. Once I get back from the 30-40 minute round trip, I make a cup of tea, set a timer for 30 minutes and allow myself uninterrupted access to facebook and whatever else I "need" to look at on the computer. I try to find some interesting articles to read later from what my worldly friends share.

So far I found a link to 24 invaluable things to learn for free online of which I have started the French lessons. Having majored in Spanish, I will tell you this free software is well designed, however I can't get the microphone part where I speak to work...so I am skipping that for now. There is also an interesting link to the art of negotiation I would like to take some time with as well as a link to learning about investing.

On the topic of money, one of my biggest sources of anxiety, I have taken major steps to conquer this anxiety and control the little money we have in our life at this time. We are working with the Dave Ramsey model of spending down to zero - allocating every dollar to a line item in a budget. During some of the days we had rolling power outages, my husband and I marathoned our way through his book The Total Money Makeover (tip you can find this used for pretty cheap at used bookstores and on amazon) and the accompanying budget workbook. I feel like we are better off than we realized and we are on the right step towards progress. We are already on Baby Step 2 and well into it as I have been working on my debt snowball for 4 years now. I have paid off $15,000 in credit card debt (and now owe $0!), paid off a car loan, paid off 2/3's of new car loan in less than a year and have brought my student loan down to $10,000. My outstanding debt is about $16,000 and my husband and I expect to have this gone in two years on one lower middle class income! Woot!!!

Disclaimer: Ramsey is an Evangelical Christian. For those sensitive to too much biblical reference (like myself) I will tell you it is 95% good (*read easy to understand) financial advice and a very tolerable 5% biblical reference. This method and book was recommended to me by my friend Derrin, who is successfully living the life I hope to live (thank you a million times! and I do thank her often for this advice). It holds true to his radio show too, I have been streaming his daily podcasts online. I am finding my brain is more engaged and as they say knowledge is power, I am learning more about money which I think is aiding in suppressing my anxiety.

I am now trying to motivate myself to add a 20 minute daily walk to my new routine. I am putting a lot of time into my jewelry business, a fantastic distraction to the fact that we are in month two of the never ending winter season. But I need some air and some movement. I was too late to the game to join a hockey league (as far as I can tell) and am truly awful at exercising alone. I have yoga tapes and have used them once all winter. So...as I don't have much social interaction (still...grrr), I polled facebook for tips on motivating myself to take a 20 minute walk in my boring, 1970's construction, shopping mall neighborhood (P.S....walking around the mall no longer an option as they got damaged by their sprinkler system during the rolling outages...*insert expletive here).

So...long winded today it seems...an excellent piece of advice received is as follows "Have a goal to take one interesting photo during your walk - since your neighborhood is not inspiring in the macro, look for micro things to make a good photo as you walk: an oddly shaped branch, closeup of peeling paint or a brick wall, a weird chimney, whatever." Brilliant! I enjoy taking photos. I like being inspired by everything and this may even inspire some jewelry projects. Multiple birds with one stone...*semi horn blow*. I am going to strap on my boots and stuff myself into my coat, mittens and hat and go for a short stroll...with a camera.

Welcome! Here's to Survival!

Thanks for stopping by, it has been awfully quiet here this week. The neighbors keep to themselves and magically appear only when you run out of clothes line after washing 20 tablecloths...and offer you theirs. You know they are watching you; fumbling with the giant cloths in the high winds here on "the rock"; your inexperience with hanging clothes on the line - a meager effort to assimilate. If you don't go to the pub this week you may not actually have a conversation with anyone but your husband. Who is very tired most of the time and prefers to watch TV.

Here is where the survival piece kicks in. Having grown up in the woods with only a few kids my age in the neighborhood, I have become accustomed to keeping myself entertained. Since a child I have been able to spend hours on arts and crafts. Time consuming activities that give you some sort of product to look at and love as a result of your efforts. I have had to revert to this method of thinking.

My late teens and twenties were spent living in big cities and gallivanting around the world. I stumbled upon my husband in one of these cities and am now married to a foreigner...which brings me to "the rock". I am now the immigrant and am waiting for my residency to go through and cannot work at this time. Not to tire you with the details but basically I ended up in this small town because it was easier to come this direction and is cheap to live here on 1 low income.

Words that come to mind when I think about our situation: isolation, loneliness, quiet, desolate, windy, cold, unfriendly, distant, remote, undeveloped, lacking, without. Rough train of thought for newlyweds. This has me fighting with deep bouts of depression and anxiety. Rock on! (or on rock in my case).

Every day is a strange battle to stay away from the blues. To feel fulfilled in my efforts that day. To be entertained and amused. To feel worthwhile, and that there is some point to this suffering. In writing this blog my good friend Megs and I hope to focus on what we are doing to survive; whether or not it is working.

Disclaimer: while this post is rather blue, it was necessary to paint the picture of where I am; some background to shed light on future posts. I hope to bring a more positive spin on some of the activity posts - informative, educational, entertaining, hopeful. Those are the words I would like to have come to mind.