Bye-Bye Lonelies, Sometimes....

This blog post is in conjunction with a previous post that VB wrote.

Sometimes I get a massive case of the lonelies.  In truth, I am hardly ever alone.  Between my two year old son, who I stay at home with, my husband and the revolving door that was our house, I don't get much alone time.  So my loneliness is a different kind of loneliness.  My loneliness comes from a lack of friends that I can call up and say, "Hey, if I can find a babysitter to watch my son, do you want to meet up for coffee or go see a movie or both?"  My loneliness comes from the isolation of where I live.  The nearest place that has anything resembling culture is Great Falls, and most days it's just not worth the drive or the gas it takes to get there.

I do have one thing going for me though.  I have, after 3 years of living here, found a friend my own age that has kids around my sons age.  We have library time every Wednesday and then a play date afterwards until lunch time.  Sometimes, we even get together on other days and let the kids play and we just talk about our kids and other things going on in our lives.  For privacy reasons I will not tell you their names, but I can say this about our new friends, they have saved my life here.  I had given up on making friends that I can talk to about anything here and not be judged because I am the pastor's wife.  And then all of a sudden enter these wonderful people and everything has changed.  The power of consistent and badgering prayer folks.

I still find that most days, unless there is something really pressing that I just have to do, I don't leave the house.  Having our garden this year has alleviated some of my hermitage behavior, in that I have to go outside every day and inspect, water, prune and pick vegetables that are ready to be picked.

I can call or skype with my best friends that don't live here, but sometimes all I want to do is see them and give them big hugs and listen to them talk about their lives and share what is going on with mine.  Sometimes, I find myself day-dreaming about taking my son to the Como Zoo in St. Paul and meeting up with friends and just making a day of it.  Or I get flashes of walking around Lake Calhoun with friends and talking and exercising at the same time on a lovely late-spring, summer or early-fall day.  Basically, I find myself missing some of what my life used to be and I get the lonelies.

But nothing stays the same.  Even if Jason and I end up moving back to Minnesota someday, everything will be different.  I will have kids, when before I didn't.  I may or may not be working, or I may work out of my home.  I may have a more traditional job, or I may find something unconventional to do with myself.  Jason will continue to be a pastor.  And not all of my best friends live in Minnesota anymore.  VB lives in St. Johns Newfoundland, others live out East and others live out in the Northwest.  Again, thinking about all of this makes me feel lonely.

Thankfully, facebook exists, texting exists, skype exists, email exists and with money, planes, trains and automobiles exists to whisk me away to see my people.

I will look back on my time here, however long it may be, and tell stories about how I made a good friend in my small town and survived the lonelies.  Until then, I'm just going to keep on keeping on and try to stay positive about what the future may hold.